good morning jokes


Good morning jokes – Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine.”

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A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”


It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”


I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere.


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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.


Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

good morning jokes memes

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Important note from a car manual:

Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.

Doctor: You’re obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.

Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name’s day Your Holiness!

Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict?

Bishop: It is the 16th, though.

Good Morning !!

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.


The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.


You can’t have everything; where would you put it?


I took an IQ test and the results were negative.


Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

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good morning jokes


If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

good morning jokes


Read Also : Inspirational Quotes

I intend to live forever. So far so good.

Who is “General Failure” and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

good morning jokes



Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”

Evolution: True science fiction.

What’s another word for “thesaurus“?


good morning jokes


Birdy birdy in the sky
Dropped a poopy in my eyes,
I do not worry I do not cry
I am just happy that cows don’t fly!

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A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road,
He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM.

good morning jokes

Son: mom, when I was on the bus with my father this morning, he told me 2 give up my seat 2 a lady.
Mother: Well, you have done the right thing son.
Son: But mother, I was sitting on my father’s lap.
Mother: Whaaatttt!!!!!??

good morning jokes

A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:

“Waiter! Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!”

“Please don’t speak so loudly, sir,” said the waiter, “or everyone will want one.”

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