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- Author: goodmorningjokes
Good Morning Funny
——- Good Morning Funny —–
Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine.” Good Morning .
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere.
Important note from a car manual:
Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.
Doctor: You’re obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion.
Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.
Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name’s day Your Holiness!
Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict?
Bishop: It is the 16th, though.